I have been battling that bitch of a virus XP Antivirus 2008 for almost two weeks now. I actually manually cleaned it, but I think I fucked up the registry. So I moved all my files on to cd and I am reinstalling XP. Fucking aye man, I almost conquered it! I’m not sure what I did. I believe I deleted something in the registry I wasn’t supposed to. Oh well.

As for work, well it is interesting to say the least. As I have mentioned before I work in a machine shop, doing shipping and receiving. Yay for me. Actually I do like it and it is right up my alley. Needless to say I work with a bunch of guys and only 3 women, 1 of which is leaving soon. Anyway I have this rep as a witch, how I got that is beyond me. I can’t believe they act all weird about a chick with tats, or act weird about me at all. A couple of them don’t even have the time of day for me. That’s OK though, there are plenty of others who do talk and are quite entertaining. I don’t want to get too much into it, because I might be caught talking shit, and well, they are sensitive, to say the least.

My guilt stems from the fact my daughter has been staying the week with my brother and mother and the weekends with me, due to a small financial crisis and environment. Even though I like Stockton, I don’t think its the greatest place for my daughter. She was happier where we were at. In the quest for cheaper rent, we ended up living somewhere that isn’t fit for my daughter. I am also being cautious though. I believe that parents need to protect there children and this is how I am protecting my daughter. Sad to say though, she will have to start school in Stockton and I am researching day care. We will be moving from here, more than likely back to Tracy in the next 5 or 6 months. I miss her. I should have day care set up within the next week and a half so its not too much longer.

I have a lot on my brain and thats just a little of it. I needed to unload.

Today we went out on a friend’s boat out on the Delta. She is actually a coworker also. I’m not the water and sun type. Used to be when I was a kid. I wanted to go to kick it with my friend, meet her husband and friend, and see my daughter and husband have a good time swimming and fishing.

I had fun just kicking it. I don’t know if I was a damper since I didn’t swim or anything, but its just not for me. I just enjoyed the boat ride.

I was actually in the sun for longer than I usually am. I don’t like the sun much. I’m such a vampire. I managed not to get burned by slathering on sunblock spf 50. I also spent a lot of time on the beach in the shade.

So I had fun. Perhaps if I participated in swimming and all that it would have been more fun. Its just not for me.

oh yes… you know how we do it.. all freakin’ wrong. Anyway I filed for a tax extension on April 15th at 10 pm that night. I have been putting off actually filing my taxes for several reasons. Among them were marriage, unemployment, self employment, 401 k payout blah blah blah….

I was nervous. Very nervous. So nervous that I am 1000 times happier now that I (or we, We filed jointly) filed.

I used H and R Block online and it was easier than I expected. Props the H and R Block for not making that an extremely painful experience.

We are also getting some back. Of course not the big return I got when I was single, but at least we don’t have to pay.

Now I can file for student aid and pay off some debt. More blah blah blah.

I have been indulging lately. In bad vices, good food and evil money. I haven’t been working out like I used to and I am way out of shape. For the most part I am healthy. I don’t drink soda, well maybe once a week, I eat my veggies, drink water, etc.

I feel tired, I feel blah, I feel like I am almost 32…

Oh wait, I will be in two months.

I don’t want to feel sluggish. I don’t want to drag myself in from work, and plop down to two or three bad vices, then pass out. I need energy, I need good sleep, I need a flatter belly good dammit. I only want to lose about 15 pounds. I am realizing that I need to change my ways, again.

I wish I would write more. It would probably help my moods. Financial stress is more than I can bare, and I don’t even have a home to foreclose on. I rent, and that’s stressful enough. Well what makes it all stressful is my debt problem. I am really trying to help myself and I guess that’s why I haven’t been here. Between almost being late on payments, not being able to take care of debt, rising prices in just about everything necessary to survive in our country. I guess life’s a bitch and then you die. Fine, I’ll accept that.

On a more creative note, the layout is in tribute to Heath Ledger and his Joker. I do not take any credit for taken these pictures.

Well today is Sunday and we have plenty to do. Laundry, clean the kitchen, get gas etc….