what i need and what i don't

Obviously I need loads of money to get pregnant again. Well not loads, but enough so I don't end up living in a shelter or worse, the gutter, puking my brains out.

I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that I can't have children normally. I mean I don't have infertility problems. I think this is gods evil way of installing birth control. I have terminated pregnancies due to HG. Ridicule me if you will, but if you ever had HG, you wouldn't blame me and you would know of other women that terminated due to HG, like I do.

I'm older now and a bit wiser, so I know getting pregnant by accident or planned won't help our situation at this moment in time.

I just want to scream and yell. At my mother, at my husband, at the doctor at the stupid county clinic that said I just wasn't sick enough.