this time last year

Today I remembered where I was last year. I was terribly sick in bed and pissed because I couldn't enjoy thanksgiving. Now this thanksgiving I am miserable I don't have my baby.

The feeling of not being woman enough to carry a child is weighing on me. I couldn't do it because I was so sick. It is an emptiness that has haunted me.

I can't even talk about it. My family gets this glazed look in there eyes when I bring any aspect of the situation up. Then we have to move on to another subject, because it would be wrong for anyone besides myself to be miserable.

We have been talking about just getting pregnant again and getting the help I need this time because my family knows what to do. But seriously, how bad would I have had to get before they would have got me help anyway? I don't know if I can trust them.

It has been a while

My career is keeping me entirely too busy. I am always rushing and doing one thing after the other.

I don't know when I will ever get the time to get pregnant. Sometimes I think it might just be better that way. I seem to have had more than enough chances. I can still hope.

With that said my only child just turned 10 on oct. 21st. She is the light of my life. She was an HG baby. I was sick for the first 3 months with her. Agonizing misery. Vomit, ratty hair, withering body, and red gatorade. thats all that life had consisted of. And to figure how something so beautiful and happy came out of something so miserable and ugly is just one of my better accomplishments.

I am going to post here as often as time permits. I often come across interesting links concerning HG and you will find them posted here.

we have moved... and an updated plan

We have moved. I now live in Stockton,Ca. The place is cuter and the rent is cheaper. This is one step towards getting pregnant again... less rent!

My husband and I have devised a plan for income when I get pregnant. I currently have a pretty neat part time job that i don't want to lose. I take pictures of cars for used car dealers and upload them to the internet. I do about 10 car dealers and will be marketing soon so I will hopefully have a couple more accounts.

Anyway the place we just moved to is a big Victorian house divided into 3 apartments. The landlord lives about 1 1/2 hours away and manages other properties also. He decided to give us the place because my husband is a handyman. He can rip out and install cupboards and counter tops and windows. He can wire for the electricity, paint, he can do it all really. So hes going to be doing handyman stuff around here. Hes going to try to turn it into a full time job with in the next year. Then before I get pregnant I will train him to do my job and he will take over the cars for about 3 months. I know it might sound far fetched, but we have been making things happen lately. Of course the plan might change like it has in the past 8 months since we decided that we wanted to get pregnant again. We just have to be smart about it all. We have to make sure we have an income while i'm pregnant and after.

We are really determined to get pregnant. I'm sure all those who have, are or will be dealing with a HG pregnancy know it is a very trying time, but you want that little baby so bad. At the same time too, you don't want to jeopardized your family thats already here. It is a difficult matter and planning for it will only make us succeed.

Mel’s Mundane Meanderings

Morning sickness � Mel’s Mundane Meanderings

Here is a post about Ashli McCall's CNN interview and the author's own account of HG.

Heartfelt

Heartfelt

This is an account of a woman who suffered from HG earlier this year.

Charlotte Bronte Might have Died from Hyperemesis Gravidarum

I read this blog post on BronteBlog about how it was possible Charlotte Bronte died of Hyperemesis Gravidarum! I wonder how far back HG goes. I mean when was it first diagnosed?

Read the blog post here. (you have to scroll down about half way. The words "Hyperemesis Gravidarum" are linked.)